Chasing Brighter Podcast: Choosing Real Over Perfect

Romanticizing Your Life

You've seen the aesthetic — the linen aprons, the cottagecore feeds, the slow-morning coffee rituals on Instagram. But what does romanticizing your life actually mean when real life is messy, busy, and full? In this episode, Jessica and Kelly strip the concept down to its honest core: noticing what's already there, claiming it, and refusing to let it slip past you on autopilot.
 
Jessica opens with the story of Athlete Jessica — the competitive, hard-working girl she was growing up — who quietly faded somewhere around 2012 and who she's been getting back, one Orange Theory treadmill push at a time. Kelly digs into the ancient roots of this idea (and a book obsession that led to a surprisingly joyful laundry practice). Together they explore how the real practice isn't about pretty things — it's about orientation, attention, and deciding your ordinary life is worth paying attention to.
What We Cover
Why romanticizing your life has nothing to do with aesthetics — and everything to do with attention
Jessica's story of losing (and reclaiming) her athlete identity over more than a decade
The difference between living intentionally and just performing your life
Kelly's post-book laundry revelation and what "mastery in everyday life" actually looks like
Research from Professor Fred Bryant at Loyola on savoring as a learnable, wellbeing-linked skill
Why summer is the perfect season to start a noticing practice
How family dinners, gym rituals, and morning coffee can be radical acts of presence
Brighter Moves This Week
From Jessica — The Noticing Practice:
Once a day, pause and notice one specific, ordinary thing. Not abstract gratitude — something concrete. The color of something. The sound of something. The way something feels. Hold it for 10 seconds. That's the whole practice.
 
From Kelly — The Single-Tasking Challenge:
Pick one activity this week — making coffee, eating lunch, driving somewhere — and do it with zero competing input. No TV, no podcast, no screen. Just the activity. Notice what surfaces when there's nothing else competing for your attention.
Free Download — June Freebie
Choose Your Own Adventure: Summer Planning Guide
 
A free template to help you design a summer worth remembering — complete with big anchors, small rituals, and a joy inventory. The whole season in one document.
 
→ Get it free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com
Next Week on Chasing Brighter
How June feels different this year. A season is ending, a new one is beginning — and we want to give you permission to actually land in it. We're talking about what it means to slow down before life makes you.
New episode drops Thursday.
Connect With Us
Website & newsletter: chasingbrighter.com
Instagram: @chasingbrighter
 
If today's episode resonated, share it with a friend who needs permission to slow down — and grab your free Summer Planning Guide at chasingbrighter.com.
 
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Super Woman Diaries #17: Sleeping In, Sending Kids Off, and Letting Go of the Plan

Jessica and Kelly are back for another real-life check-in, and summer is officially on the horizon. In this episode, they get into all of it: the exhausting reality of trying to figure out what to do with your tween when camp is impossible to get into, the surprisingly calm approach Jessica is taking to sending Gabby off to Centre College, the dorm prep rabbit hole (sheets, storage units, and yes, whether lofts are still a thing), kids learning to drive, and why both of them are just ready to breathe. If you are in the thick of the school-to-summer transition and you need someone to tell you that "we'll figure it out" is a perfectly valid plan, this one is for you.
In This Episode:
The tween and teen summer gap: what do you do with kids who are too old for camp and too young for a job? Kelly gets real about camp competition in Chicago and why she is done fighting for it.
Gabby's heading to Centre College in Kentucky this fall, and Jessica is taking a refreshingly low-key approach to dorm prep -- no stress, no Amazon cart yet, just waiting until she gets there and knows what she actually needs.
Roommate connections, Facebook parent groups, storage units, and the unexpected sisterhood of moms who have already been through it.
Wes and Dominic are both in the permit stage, and Jessica and Kelly talk about the real freedom (and the real fear) of handing the wheel to your teenager.
Why summer feels like an exhale: no homework, no lunch packing, no schedule checking. Just slower mornings and fewer mental tabs open.
A little preview of what is coming this month on Chasing Brighter -- June is all about joy and intentional living, and these two are ready for it.
Connect With Us: Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter
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Still Figuring It Out

No frameworks, no formulas — just two sisters getting real. In this May wrap-up episode, Jessica and Kelly close out the month by doing what they do best: being honest. They share the moments they slid back into old patterns (Jessica with achievement pressure, Kelly with people-pleasing), talk about parenting through milestones, and remind us that noticing the pattern is the work. This one might just be one of their favorites — and it might become one of yours too.
In This Episode
Jessica opens up about a surprising emotional moment with her high school senior, Gabby, and catches herself sliding back into achievement-based pressure — the exact pattern she's been unpacking all season. Kelly shares her own version: people-pleasing still shows up, even when you know better. Together, they explore what it actually looks like when two people who talk about growth for a living still have to do the messy, daily work of it.
They also leave you with three things you can actually use when you catch yourself sliding back:
Name it without judgment. Simply say, "I'm in that old pattern right now." You don't have to fix it immediately.
Get curious, not critical. Instead of asking why am I doing this again?, ask what is this part of me needing right now?
Choose one small thing that's genuinely yours. Not productive, not for anyone else — just one small act of being the person you're becoming.
Brighter Moves This Week
🌿 Kelly's Move: Write down a few words that describe who you are becoming — not who you were, not who you plan to be, but who you are moving toward right now. Keep them somewhere you'll actually see them.
🌿 Jessica's Move: Do one thing this week that is purely about curiosity. Not ambition, not productivity — just something you're genuinely interested in. One hour. One small yes to yourself.
Free Resource Mentioned
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — 5 questions, 5 minutes, once a week. Grab it free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com or chasingbrighter.com/newsletter.
Looking Ahead — June
After the deep identity work of April and May, June is intentionally lighter. Think joy, romanticizing your real life, and intentional living. Kelly and Jessica are calling it a deep breath — and they can't wait to take it with you.
Connect With Us
Find us at chasingbrighter.com | Newsletter sign-up, blog, and more Follow us on all socials: @chasingbrighter
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Super Woman Diaries #16: Maycember, State Champs, and the Sports Money Grab

It's officially Maycember — that stretch of late May where schedules implode, school events multiply, and someone always ends up puking on your air mattress. Jess and Kelly are back for another Superwoman Diaries check-in, and this one covers it all: Dominic's history-making baseball state championship (and the impromptu team party that followed), Gio's fifth grade promotion week chaos, Kelly's solo mom trip to Utah for Beck's soccer tournament, and a very real conversation about youth sports culture — who it's really for, when travel ball makes sense, and why 4U baseball tournaments might be the sign we've all lost the plot.
This is the honest, unfiltered version of what this season actually looks like for two moms in the thick of it.
What You'll Hear:
Why "Maycember" is a real phenomenon and how Jessica is surviving it
Dominic's baseball team making school history — the first-ever state championship in baseball
The school parade, the bleach-blonde hair tradition, and how 21 high schoolers ended up in Jessica's backyard
Giovanni's fifth grade promotion week (and the stomach bug that derailed everything first)
Kelly's trip to Utah for Beckett's soccer tournament — what was great, what wasn't worth the money
The youth sports money grab conversation: travel ball, tournament culture, and a 4U baseball team in Texas
When travel actually makes sense vs. when it's just expensive stress
Rec ball vs. club ball — what both sisters have learned and why values matter more than the scoreboard
Why a team that loves each other wins games — and what Dominic's championship season proved
Free Download
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — Five questions to come back to every single week. Check in with who you actually are right now, not who you think you should be or who everyone else needs you to be. Screenshot it, save it, and make it part of your Sunday routine. Free when you sign up for the newsletter.
Get it here: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
Connect With Us
Website: chasingbrighter.com
Instagram & TikTok: @ChasingBrighter
Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
Maycember, end of school year chaos, youth sports mom, travel ball, club baseball, club soccer, sports tournament travel, youth sports money grab, state championship baseball, high school baseball, Superwoman Diaries, chasing brighter podcast, mom life, busy mom, kid sports, sports burnout, rec ball vs club ball, youth athlete, sports parenting, fifth grade promotion, high school senior, baseball team party, tournament travel tips, values-based parenting, women supporting women, honest mom podcast

Having It All Is A Myth

This week, Kelly and Jessica blow up the "having it all" story — where it came from, why it keeps getting a makeover, and what they actually think. From the career-and-family narratives of the 1980s to today's softer language of "intentional living" and "alignment," the pressure for women to thrive in every area of life simultaneously is still very much alive. Jessica and Kelly unpack why this framework is both a myth and a trap — and what a richer, more honest version of a full life actually looks like.
 
What We Cover in This Episode
Where the "having it all" phrase came from and how it has evolved over decades
Why the new language of intentional living and alignment can feel just as suffocating
Shonda Rhimes' honest take on thriving at work while feeling like you're failing at home — and why that's not actually failure
Jessica's personal story of dreams in seasons: pausing, pivoting, and building at different times in her life
Why a good life doesn't have to be a simultaneous one — it can be sequential
How comparison triggers the "something is missing" feeling — and what to do when you catch it
The reframe: happiness is a choice, not a result of the right circumstances
Kelly's real-time comparison spiral at a baseball game and how she worked through it
This week's Brighter Moves: naming the "everything standard" and asking what season you're actually in
This Week's Brighter Moves
Kelly's Move:
Notice a moment this week where you're measuring your life against an invisible "everything" standard. Just name it out loud to yourself: "I'm comparing my life to an everything list right now." That awareness alone is more useful than any strategy.
 
Jessica's Move:
Ask yourself: what season am I in right now — not the ideal life, but this season? What does this season actually call for? Give yourself permission to let that be enough. And if you find yourself waiting to be happy until things are more arranged, try choosing it today instead. Do one small thing today that's just for you — not earned, just a moment to choose happy.
 
Free Download This Month
Grab the Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions, five minutes, once a week. It's free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter.
 
Coming Up Next Week
We're closing out May with our Still Figuring It Out segment. Kelly and Jessica both share something real about sliding back into old roles, old patterns, and old versions of themselves they thought they'd outgrown — and how they keep moving forward anyway. Don't miss it.
 
Connect With Us
Website: chasingbrighter.com
Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
Instagram & TikTok: @ChasingBrighter
YouTube: @ChasingBrighter
Blog: chasingbrighter.com/blog
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Super Woman Diaries #15: New Spaces, AI Tools, Take Your Kid to Work Day, and What's for Dinner?

This week, Jess and Kelly are keeping it real — catching up on new studio setups, a deep dive into AI tools (Claude vs. ChatGPT, anyone?), Take Your Child to Work Day, navigating loss while hosting family, and the eternal question: what's for dinner? It's a full-life conversation about the juggle, the joy, and everything in between.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Studio refresh — both Jess and Kelly redesigned their workspaces and why environment matters more than we think
AI tool breakdown — how Kelly used Claude to redesign her room (and why it worked better than ChatGPT), plus Jess and Kelly's honest take on when to use which AI
Take Your Child to Work Day — Jess brought Gio to her therapy practice, complete with a Claude-generated workbook, a case study, and a dress code
Why letting your kids see you work matters — modeling a career and identity beyond parenthood
Kelly's father-in-law passed away — navigating grief, hosting family, and finding grace in the hard moments
The Four Agreements and letting go of managing other people's behavior
Meal planning (or the lack thereof) — crock pot meals, Costco runs, frozen shortcuts, and why defrosting things is the bane of our existence
Kelly's birthday wish: a full week off from dinner duty
The May Freebie — the Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In is available now!
Free Download Mentioned in This Episode
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — Five questions to come back to every single week. Check in with who you actually are right now, not who you think you should be or who everyone else needs you to be. Screenshot it, save it, and make it part of your Sunday routine. Free when you sign up for the newsletter.
Get it here: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
Connect With Us
Website: chasingbrighter.com
Instagram & TikTok: @ChasingBrighter
Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
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You Are Worthy. Full Stop.

Where have you been looking for your worthiness? If the honest answer involves what you've achieved, who approves of you, or how well you've performed your roles — this episode is for you. Jessica and Kelly get personal about the conditional worth they each carried for years: the Pinterest mom era, outsourcing okayness to other people's moods, and the strange moment a spiritual healer told Jessica she had a worthiness problem (and she laughed it off). They dig into why high-achieving women are often the last to recognize this pattern, what it looks like to start untangling it, and how a values clarification practice can help you begin separating what you actually want from what you've been performing.
 
In This Episode
Why conditional worth is so hard to spot — it looks like caring and dedication from the outside
How Jessica tied worthiness to achievement and performance (including the Super Mario cake era)
How Kelly outsourced her sense of okayness to other people's happiness
The fragility of conditional worth — it's only as stable as the last thing you produced
Why the empty nest hits so hard when identity is tangled up in caregiving
The worthiness journey: therapy, Reiki, Glennon Doyle's Untamed, and real conversations
Separating doing from being — things you do because you love your life, not to earn your place in it
A values clarification tool: Is this something I actually value, or something I'm performing?
The "Real Over Perfect" moment: pausing to ask whose standard this even is
Senior night, fat heads, candy leis, and choosing simple over performing
 
Your Brighter Moves This Week
Kelly's Move: Finish the Sentence
Complete this sentence without editing yourself:
“I am worthy because ___.”
Then just notice what comes after the because. Is it an achievement? A role? Someone's approval? You don't have to fix it right away. Just see it.
Jessica's Move: Values Clarification Check
Write down five things you feel are core parts of your identity. For each one, ask:
Is this genuinely mine?
Or is this who someone else needs me to be?
You don't have to act on the answer. Just being aware of it is the work.
 
Free Download This Month
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions, five minutes, once a week. Designed to help you slow down and reconnect with what’s actually true for you.
→ Get it free at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
 
Coming Up Next Week
We’re blowing up the “having it all” story — where it came from, why it got a wellness makeover, and why Jessica thinks it’s a myth worth dismantling entirely. Come ready to have an opinion.
 
Connect with Chasing Brighter
→ Website: chasingbrighter.com
→ Instagram: @ChasingBrighter
Episodes drop every Monday and Thursday.
 
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Super Woman Diaries #14: Dragon Fruit, Documentary Rabbit Holes & the "Who Created Sex?" Conversation

Grab your beverage of choice — because Jess has at least three of them. This week's Superwoman Diaries is peak real life: protein struggles and gut health deep dives, surviving food poisoning on the GLP-1, middle-of-the-night cortisol pushups, anxiety packing for a fifth grade field trip to Zion, and somehow landing on a conversation about platypuses and the birds and the bees with an eleven-year-old. Kelly and Jess also swap their current favorite mini-documentaries, and spoiler — one of them involves cults, an undercover psychologist, and the FBI. Just a normal Tuesday.
In This Episode:
Jess's beverage situation: creatine, Starbucks refresher concentrate, frozen dragon fruit, and the superfood bag that said five grams of fiber
Kelly tracking her protein and macros on MyFitnessPal — and the bloating incident that came from putting protein powder in coffee on an empty stomach
The 30-30-3 rule Cassidy shared: 30g protein, 30g fiber, and 3 servings of probiotics at your first meal
Jess's gut health routine: probiotics, kombucha shots, and why it matters on a GLP-1
Getting food poisoning from a Mediterranean chicken salad and spending Monday on the BRAT diet — and discovering B-Free gluten-free sourdough bread from Walmart
Skipping her volunteer signup for Gio's field trip and the guilt that came with it
Kelly's 3am waking problem, the cortisol explanation, and doing 20 pushups in the bathroom to fall back asleep
The sleep supplement breakdown: melatonin vs. magnesium vs. cortisol manager, and who each one actually helps
Alpha-STIM for anxiety, insomnia, and depression — Jess's pitch for them both to try it
Staying up until 2am reading Off Campus, the hockey romance series coming to Amazon Prime, and completely tanking her sleep hygiene
Mini-documentary recommendations: Trust Me: The False Prophet on Netflix — the story of a PhD psychologist who embedded herself with a fundamentalist LDS community after Warren Jeffs was imprisoned and ended up working with the FBI
The conversation Jess had with Gio about critical thinking, body autonomy, listening to your gut, and what to do when someone in power is telling you something feels wrong — sparked by watching a bit of the documentary together
"Who created sex?" — how an 11-year-old's questions took a hard left turn through farm animals, platypuses, and egg-laying mammals
Freebie Mentioned 🎉
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions to help you check in with who you actually are right now. Not who you think you should be. Not who everyone else needs you to be. Just you. Free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Connect with Us: 🌐 chasingbrighter.com 📱 Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook: @chasingbrighter
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The Woman You Were vs. the Woman You're Becoming

Have you ever been introduced to someone — by a person who loves you — and realized the version of you they described doesn't exist anymore? That's where this episode begins. Jessica and Kelly get honest about the slow, quiet drift of identity: how it shifts in small decisions, in what you stop tolerating, in what you start wanting. They talk about the gap between who people expect you to be and who you're actually becoming — and why that gap isn't a crisis. It's evidence that you're growing. This week: the roles we outgrow, the relationships that update alongside us, and the ones that don't.
What We Talk About
Being reintroduced to an old version of yourself by someone who loves you — and the tension that lives in that moment. How identity shifts happen gradually, in the margins, until one day you look up and realize you've quietly moved in a new direction. The difference between the version of you that exists in other people's minds versus the version you're actually living. Why the people who love us can have a vested interest in keeping us the same. Growing out of old roles — the planner, the fixer, the over-functioner — and what happens in friendships when you step back. Jessica and Kelly describe each other ten years ago (this one gets honest). The fawning response, the overfunctioning impulse, and what it looks like to notice it without acting on it. Kelly's shift with her 15-year-old, Wes — letting him drive his own story instead of living the one she thought she wanted for him. Why evolving doesn't mean you were wrong before. It means you were paying attention.
Brighter Moves This Week
Kelly's move: Ask yourself this question once this week — Who am I actually, quietly becoming? Not who you should be. Not who everyone needs you to be. Who are you moving toward right now? Write it down. Sit with it. Let it surprise you.
Jessica's move: Notice once this week where you're playing an old role that doesn't quite fit anymore. You don't have to do anything about it. Just notice it. Name it to yourself. That awareness is the beginning of something.
Free Download
Grab the Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions, five minutes, once a week. It's designed to help you check in with who you actually are right now, not who you think you should be. Free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Connect With Us
Follow us on Instagram and find show notes, the blog, and the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com | @chasingbrighter
Next Week
We're going somewhere that's going to feel personal. We're talking about worthiness — and specifically the sneaky way so many of us link our worth to what we achieve, what we produce, what we perform.
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Super Woman Diaries #13: Glowing Up & Letting Go: Skincare Secrets, Style Resets & Dressing for the Life You're In

Jessica and Kelly are in their glow-up era — and they're taking you with them. This week's Superwoman Diaries is a full-on deep dive into what's actually working for their skin (hint: Retin-A, Paula's Choice, and asking AI for a skincare routine), why they're both rethinking their wardrobes from the ground up, and the surprisingly freeing idea of wearing the same four outfits you love instead of a closet full of "meh." Plus — would you get subtle lip filler if your partner of 27 years finally told you your lips were beautiful? Yeah, Jessica has thoughts.
In This Episode:
Paula's Choice 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant — the 113,000-review skincare hero Jess is obsessed with
The Ordinary Glycolic Acid 7% Toner — a $6.93 drugstore find that delivers real results
Why Retin-A (prescription retinol) is making a big difference for both sisters — and how to actually work up to it
Micro-needling, Botox, and the "bang for your buck" beauty conversation women in their 40s are really having
Skin cancer history, mole checks, and why basal cell carcinoma runs in their family
The case for wearing the same four outfits you love — Steve Jobs wasn't wrong
Z Supply matching sets, Aerie knit sets, and why comfortable can absolutely mean cute
Finding jeans that actually fit (and the Democracy denim moment their mom needs to have)
Subtle lip filler, external validation, and why you'd be doing it for you — not anyone else
Stylist Melissa Briskman is coming on in June to talk summer fashion — stay tuned!
Freebie Mentioned 🎉
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions to check in with who you actually are right now. Not who you think you should be. Just you. Free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Connect with Us: 🌐 chasingbrighter.com 📱 Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook: @chasingbrighter
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