Chasing Brighter Podcast: Choosing Real Over Perfect

Super Woman Diaries: #New Spaces, AI Tools, Take Your Kid to Work Day, and What's for Dinner?

This week, Jess and Kelly are keeping it real — catching up on new studio setups, a deep dive into AI tools (Claude vs. ChatGPT, anyone?), Take Your Child to Work Day, navigating loss while hosting family, and the eternal question: what's for dinner? It's a full-life conversation about the juggle, the joy, and everything in between.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Studio refresh — both Jess and Kelly redesigned their workspaces and why environment matters more than we think
AI tool breakdown — how Kelly used Claude to redesign her room (and why it worked better than ChatGPT), plus Jess and Kelly's honest take on when to use which AI
Take Your Child to Work Day — Jess brought Gio to her therapy practice, complete with a Claude-generated workbook, a case study, and a dress code
Why letting your kids see you work matters — modeling a career and identity beyond parenthood
Kelly's father-in-law passed away — navigating grief, hosting family, and finding grace in the hard moments
The Four Agreements and letting go of managing other people's behavior
Meal planning (or the lack thereof) — crock pot meals, Costco runs, frozen shortcuts, and why defrosting things is the bane of our existence
Kelly's birthday wish: a full week off from dinner duty
The May Freebie — the Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In is available now!
Free Download Mentioned in This Episode
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — Five questions to come back to every single week. Check in with who you actually are right now, not who you think you should be or who everyone else needs you to be. Screenshot it, save it, and make it part of your Sunday routine. Free when you sign up for the newsletter.
Get it here: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
Connect With Us
Website: chasingbrighter.com
Instagram & TikTok: @ChasingBrighter
Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
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You Are Worthy. Full Stop.

Where have you been looking for your worthiness? If the honest answer involves what you've achieved, who approves of you, or how well you've performed your roles — this episode is for you. Jessica and Kelly get personal about the conditional worth they each carried for years: the Pinterest mom era, outsourcing okayness to other people's moods, and the strange moment a spiritual healer told Jessica she had a worthiness problem (and she laughed it off). They dig into why high-achieving women are often the last to recognize this pattern, what it looks like to start untangling it, and how a values clarification practice can help you begin separating what you actually want from what you've been performing.
 
In This Episode
Why conditional worth is so hard to spot — it looks like caring and dedication from the outside
How Jessica tied worthiness to achievement and performance (including the Super Mario cake era)
How Kelly outsourced her sense of okayness to other people's happiness
The fragility of conditional worth — it's only as stable as the last thing you produced
Why the empty nest hits so hard when identity is tangled up in caregiving
The worthiness journey: therapy, Reiki, Glennon Doyle's Untamed, and real conversations
Separating doing from being — things you do because you love your life, not to earn your place in it
A values clarification tool: Is this something I actually value, or something I'm performing?
The "Real Over Perfect" moment: pausing to ask whose standard this even is
Senior night, fat heads, candy leis, and choosing simple over performing
 
Your Brighter Moves This Week
Kelly's Move: Finish the Sentence
Complete this sentence without editing yourself:
“I am worthy because ___.”
Then just notice what comes after the because. Is it an achievement? A role? Someone's approval? You don't have to fix it right away. Just see it.
Jessica's Move: Values Clarification Check
Write down five things you feel are core parts of your identity. For each one, ask:
Is this genuinely mine?
Or is this who someone else needs me to be?
You don't have to act on the answer. Just being aware of it is the work.
 
Free Download This Month
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions, five minutes, once a week. Designed to help you slow down and reconnect with what’s actually true for you.
→ Get it free at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
 
Coming Up Next Week
We’re blowing up the “having it all” story — where it came from, why it got a wellness makeover, and why Jessica thinks it’s a myth worth dismantling entirely. Come ready to have an opinion.
 
Connect with Chasing Brighter
→ Website: chasingbrighter.com
→ Instagram: @ChasingBrighter
Episodes drop every Monday and Thursday.
 
worthiness, conditional worth, self-worth, women and identity, high-achieving women, people pleasing, performing identity, Pinterest mom, empty nest, values clarification, real over perfect, Glennon Doyle Untamed, Chasing Brighter podcast, identity and expectations, May podcast series, Kelly and Jessica, personal growth podcast for women, inner critic, overachieving women, outsourcing self-worth, worthiness journey

Super Woman Diaries #14: Dragon Fruit, Documentary Rabbit Holes & the "Who Created Sex?" Conversation

Grab your beverage of choice — because Jess has at least three of them. This week's Superwoman Diaries is peak real life: protein struggles and gut health deep dives, surviving food poisoning on the GLP-1, middle-of-the-night cortisol pushups, anxiety packing for a fifth grade field trip to Zion, and somehow landing on a conversation about platypuses and the birds and the bees with an eleven-year-old. Kelly and Jess also swap their current favorite mini-documentaries, and spoiler — one of them involves cults, an undercover psychologist, and the FBI. Just a normal Tuesday.
In This Episode:
Jess's beverage situation: creatine, Starbucks refresher concentrate, frozen dragon fruit, and the superfood bag that said five grams of fiber
Kelly tracking her protein and macros on MyFitnessPal — and the bloating incident that came from putting protein powder in coffee on an empty stomach
The 30-30-3 rule Cassidy shared: 30g protein, 30g fiber, and 3 servings of probiotics at your first meal
Jess's gut health routine: probiotics, kombucha shots, and why it matters on a GLP-1
Getting food poisoning from a Mediterranean chicken salad and spending Monday on the BRAT diet — and discovering B-Free gluten-free sourdough bread from Walmart
Skipping her volunteer signup for Gio's field trip and the guilt that came with it
Kelly's 3am waking problem, the cortisol explanation, and doing 20 pushups in the bathroom to fall back asleep
The sleep supplement breakdown: melatonin vs. magnesium vs. cortisol manager, and who each one actually helps
Alpha-STIM for anxiety, insomnia, and depression — Jess's pitch for them both to try it
Staying up until 2am reading Off Campus, the hockey romance series coming to Amazon Prime, and completely tanking her sleep hygiene
Mini-documentary recommendations: Trust Me: The False Prophet on Netflix — the story of a PhD psychologist who embedded herself with a fundamentalist LDS community after Warren Jeffs was imprisoned and ended up working with the FBI
The conversation Jess had with Gio about critical thinking, body autonomy, listening to your gut, and what to do when someone in power is telling you something feels wrong — sparked by watching a bit of the documentary together
"Who created sex?" — how an 11-year-old's questions took a hard left turn through farm animals, platypuses, and egg-laying mammals
Freebie Mentioned 🎉
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions to help you check in with who you actually are right now. Not who you think you should be. Not who everyone else needs you to be. Just you. Free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Connect with Us: 🌐 chasingbrighter.com 📱 Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook: @chasingbrighter
protein tracking for women, MyFitnessPal macros, how to hit 30 grams protein at breakfast, protein powder bloating, gut health for women, GLP-1 side effects, GLP-1 and gut health, BRAT diet, B-Free gluten free bread, gluten free sourdough, probiotics and kombucha, 30 30 3 breakfast rule, cortisol and sleep, waking up at 3am, middle of the night waking perimenopause, melatonin vs magnesium for sleep, cortisol manager supplement, alpha-STIM device, sleep hygiene tips, Off Campus book series, hockey romance books, Trust Me The False Prophet Netflix, Warren Jeffs documentary, fundamentalist LDS documentary, talking to kids about cults, teaching kids body autonomy, critical thinking for kids, birds and the bees conversation, Zion National Park field trip, fifth grade field trip anxiety, mom guilt, Chasing Brighter podcast, Superwoman Diaries, women's lifestyle podcast, real over perfect, midlife women podcast

The Woman You Were vs. the Woman You're Becoming

Have you ever been introduced to someone — by a person who loves you — and realized the version of you they described doesn't exist anymore? That's where this episode begins. Jessica and Kelly get honest about the slow, quiet drift of identity: how it shifts in small decisions, in what you stop tolerating, in what you start wanting. They talk about the gap between who people expect you to be and who you're actually becoming — and why that gap isn't a crisis. It's evidence that you're growing. This week: the roles we outgrow, the relationships that update alongside us, and the ones that don't.
What We Talk About
Being reintroduced to an old version of yourself by someone who loves you — and the tension that lives in that moment. How identity shifts happen gradually, in the margins, until one day you look up and realize you've quietly moved in a new direction. The difference between the version of you that exists in other people's minds versus the version you're actually living. Why the people who love us can have a vested interest in keeping us the same. Growing out of old roles — the planner, the fixer, the over-functioner — and what happens in friendships when you step back. Jessica and Kelly describe each other ten years ago (this one gets honest). The fawning response, the overfunctioning impulse, and what it looks like to notice it without acting on it. Kelly's shift with her 15-year-old, Wes — letting him drive his own story instead of living the one she thought she wanted for him. Why evolving doesn't mean you were wrong before. It means you were paying attention.
Brighter Moves This Week
Kelly's move: Ask yourself this question once this week — Who am I actually, quietly becoming? Not who you should be. Not who everyone needs you to be. Who are you moving toward right now? Write it down. Sit with it. Let it surprise you.
Jessica's move: Notice once this week where you're playing an old role that doesn't quite fit anymore. You don't have to do anything about it. Just notice it. Name it to yourself. That awareness is the beginning of something.
Free Download
Grab the Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions, five minutes, once a week. It's designed to help you check in with who you actually are right now, not who you think you should be. Free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Connect With Us
Follow us on Instagram and find show notes, the blog, and the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com | @chasingbrighter
Next Week
We're going somewhere that's going to feel personal. We're talking about worthiness — and specifically the sneaky way so many of us link our worth to what we achieve, what we produce, what we perform.
identity shift, who am I becoming, women and self-discovery, midlife identity, outgrowing old roles, people pleasing, over-functioning, fawning response, setting boundaries, friendship changes, relationship dynamics, letting go of expectations, parenting teenagers, self-awareness, personal growth podcast, women's podcast, identity and expectations, performing old versions of yourself, who you were vs who you are, slow drift of identity, real over perfect, chasing brighter, Jessica Colarco, Kelly, values alignment, self-worth, authenticity, women in midlife, personal evolution, inner work, growth mindset women

Super Woman Diaries #13: Glowing Up & Letting Go: Skincare Secrets, Style Resets & Dressing for the Life You're In

Jessica and Kelly are in their glow-up era — and they're taking you with them. This week's Superwoman Diaries is a full-on deep dive into what's actually working for their skin (hint: Retin-A, Paula's Choice, and asking AI for a skincare routine), why they're both rethinking their wardrobes from the ground up, and the surprisingly freeing idea of wearing the same four outfits you love instead of a closet full of "meh." Plus — would you get subtle lip filler if your partner of 27 years finally told you your lips were beautiful? Yeah, Jessica has thoughts.
In This Episode:
Paula's Choice 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant — the 113,000-review skincare hero Jess is obsessed with
The Ordinary Glycolic Acid 7% Toner — a $6.93 drugstore find that delivers real results
Why Retin-A (prescription retinol) is making a big difference for both sisters — and how to actually work up to it
Micro-needling, Botox, and the "bang for your buck" beauty conversation women in their 40s are really having
Skin cancer history, mole checks, and why basal cell carcinoma runs in their family
The case for wearing the same four outfits you love — Steve Jobs wasn't wrong
Z Supply matching sets, Aerie knit sets, and why comfortable can absolutely mean cute
Finding jeans that actually fit (and the Democracy denim moment their mom needs to have)
Subtle lip filler, external validation, and why you'd be doing it for you — not anyone else
Stylist Melissa Briskman is coming on in June to talk summer fashion — stay tuned!
Freebie Mentioned 🎉
The Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions to check in with who you actually are right now. Not who you think you should be. Just you. Free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Connect with Us: 🌐 chasingbrighter.com 📱 Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook: @chasingbrighter
skincare for women in their 40s, Paula's Choice BHA exfoliant, The Ordinary glycolic acid toner, Retin-A for brown spots, micro-needling benefits, Botox conversation, skin cancer awareness, basal cell carcinoma, midlife beauty routine, capsule wardrobe, matching sets, Z Supply, Aerie, Democracy jeans, jeans for women over 40, minimalist wardrobe, style reset, midlife women, self-care, glow up, Chasing Brighter podcast, Superwoman Diaries, real over perfect, women's lifestyle podcast

Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's?

In this bonus episode, Jessica and Kelly tackle a topic that perfectly closes out April's theme of energy and capacity — values alignment. With five Thursdays in the month, the sisters decided to make good use of the extra week by walking through their free April download together: the two-part values questionnaire, Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's?
Jessica and Kelly fill out the questionnaire in real time, getting honest about which parts of their identities feel genuinely theirs versus which ones feel like performance. From Jessica sitting alone on the bleachers at Dominic's baseball game (AirPod in, Audible playing) to Kelly's ongoing work to stop managing her kids and just be with them, this episode is a refreshing reminder that alignment isn't about perfection — it's about honesty.
They walk through all five reflection questions and five practical tips for living more in line with what actually matters to you, including why the difference between guilt and misalignment is one of the most important distinctions you can make.
What You'll Hear:
Part One — The Values Questionnaire
Writing five things that feel like core parts of your identity
Asking yourself: is this genuinely mine, or is this who someone else needs me to be? (Mine vs. Performing)
Which of your values lights you up — and which ones feel like weight?
What would you do differently this week if you stopped performing and started living?
One thing you keep saying yes to that a more aligned version of you would say no
Part Two — Five Tips for Living More Aligned
Start with one small no
Make your values visible
Use the values filter before you commit
Notice the difference between guilt and misalignment
Give yourself permission for your values to evolve
Links & Resources:
📩 Get the free April download — Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? — by signing up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
📲 Missed April? DM us on Instagram @ChasingBrighter and we'll send it right to you!
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Super Woman Diaries #12: Babies, Baseball & Body Wash: Real Talk on Parenting Then vs. Now

Jess and Kelly discuss what it would actually mean to start over with a baby at their stage of life — and why they're both firmly in the "no thank you" camp. They explore new research on postpartum hormones and the five-year timeline for hormonal homeostasis, and reflect on how that science reframes some of the harder seasons of early motherhood. Dr. Gabor Maté's work in The Myth of Normal comes up, particularly around how a mother's emotional state during pregnancy and early childhood shapes a child's long-term wellbeing. The conversation also touches on the unexpected gifts of older parenthood, the instinct to protect and over-worry, and the beautiful shift that comes when you finally start trusting your kids to figure things out.
And yes — there is a full dramatic reading of their kids' text messages. You will not be disappointed.
Resources & References Mentioned
The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Chasing Brighter Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
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Connect With Us
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Keywords & Search Terms
parenting in midlife, having a baby in your 40s, postpartum hormones, hormonal homeostasis after pregnancy, five years postpartum, Dr. Gabor Maté, Myth of Normal, Untamed Glennon Doyle, motherhood and marriage, real talk parenting, chasing brighter podcast, Jessica Colarco, Kelly, midlife women, parenting older kids, teen texts, kids and sports injuries, baseball injuries, letting go as a parent, parenting anxiety, postpartum science, women's hormones, midlife motherhood, parenting humor, sister podcast, authentic conversations, kids growing up, nostalgic parenting, family life podcast, women over 40, emotional health motherhood

Hot Takes: What We Actually Think About Energy, Overwhelm & the Mental Load

No frameworks. No beats. Just Jessica and Kelly telling you what they actually think. In this month’s Hot Takes episode, the sisters close out April’s Energy & Overwhelm theme by going off-script and getting real about the mental load in relationships, the wellness industry’s complicated grip on women, raising sons to be better partners, and what it actually looks like to choose real over perfect. If you’ve been nodding along all month, this one is the payoff.
What We Cover in This Episode
Hot Take #1 (Jessica): Sharing the mental load is one of the hardest things couples navigate — and most people aren’t being honest about how hard it actually is. It’s not about blame. It’s about a socialization gap that creates invisible labor, quiet resentment, and the exhausting reality of being the only one who knows what needs asking.
Hot Take #2 (Kelly): Self-care culture has given women one more thing to fail at. The wellness industry has turned rest and recovery into a performance — and that’s worth pushing back on.
Jessica responds: Wellness as a practice that serves you is not the same as wellness as your whole identity. Real self-care doesn’t require a red light mask or a Pilates membership — it requires showing yourself that you’re worthy of your own time and attention.
Hot Take #3 (Jessica): Raising sons to be better partners than the ones we grew up watching is some of the most important work we do. What our kids see us model — about what women do for themselves, about what a partnership looks like — becomes the template they carry into adulthood.
A reflection on April: celebrating progress, sitting with discomfort, and naming the one real thing that shifted for you this month.
A preview of May: Identity & Expectations — the gap between the version of you everyone expects and the one you’re actually becoming.
This Month’s Brighter Move
Write down one real thing from April — something that shifted, something you did differently, something you want to keep. Then have one honest conversation you’ve been putting off about the load, about what you need, about what has to change. Not ready for the conversation? Write it down first. Sometimes just seeing it on paper is how you figure out what you actually want to say.
Coming Up in May
We’re shifting into Identity & Expectations month. We’re talking about the gap between the version of you that everyone expects and the one you’re actually becoming. It’s going to be a good one.
Connect With Us
Website & Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com
Socials: @ChasingBrighter
mental load, invisible labor, women and emotional labor, sharing household responsibilities, mental load in marriage, overcoming resentment in relationships, self-care culture criticism, wellness industry and women, real self-care, self-worth, raising sons to be good partners, modeling healthy relationships for kids, intergenerational patterns, breaking cycles, women and overwhelm, energy management for women, hot takes podcast, Chasing Brighter podcast, real over perfect, Kelly and Jessica, women’s midlife podcast, identity and expectations, anxiety and mental load, IFS internal family systems, fawning trauma response, socialization and gender roles

Super Woman Diaries #11: Blue Eyeshadow, Skin Tints & the Eye Color Discovery We Never Expected

Jessica and Kelly kick things off with a fun, unfiltered conversation about their latest makeup adventures — from blue eyeshadow experimentation to skin tints and primers they're currently loving. Jessica shares a hilarious Ulta makeover story that didn't quite land with her family, and Kelly talks about her current go-to foundation for that dewy winter look. They close out with a surprisingly meaningful discovery: Jessica learning her eyes aren't actually brown — and what it means to really look at the people (and yourself) closest to you.
Products Mentioned
Stila One Step Correct Skin Tone Correcting & Brightening Primer
Live Tinted Hueguard Skin Tint SPF 50
Stila Liqua Play Eyeshadow
Milk Hydro Grip 12-Hour Hydrating Gel Skin Tint
Jones Road Miracle Balm
Jones Road Eyeshadow (pot formula)
Glossier Future Dew Solid Oil Serum Illuminator
Naturium Phyto Glow Lip Balm
Rare Beauty eyebrow gel
Mad Love Eyebrow Stamp
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Find us at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter for the blog, newsletter, and more. Follow us on socials @chasingbrighter.
 
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The Unpaid Job Nobody Talks About: Invisible Labor

This one is real. Before hitting record, Kelly shares something personal — her family is navigating health uncertainty with her father-in-law, and she's been quietly absorbing everything at home while her husband is pulled elsewhere. No ask for sympathy, just honesty. And it's exactly the kind of thing that never makes it onto a to-do list. This week, Jessica and Kelly get into invisible labor — the unpaid, unacknowledged work of managing, coordinating, anticipating, and holding everything together — and what carrying it silently actually costs you over time.
In This Episode
What invisible labor actually is (and why so many women have never heard the term)
The difference between mental load and doing tasks — the doing can be shared, but the knowing often isn't
Why invisible labor doesn't have to be about marriage and kids — it shows up in solo business ownership, caregiving, friendships, and more
The specific kind of resentment that builds when your contribution goes chronically unseen — and what it signals clinically
Jessica's honest story: 20 years into marriage before the mental load genuinely shifted, and what actually changed
Raising sons who understand what it takes — and breaking generational patterns around who holds the household
Why naming it out loud — even just saying it — makes it feel lighter
The identity cost: when your own needs start feeling like luxury items that get cut from the budget
Kelly's mental load audit (15 minutes, no editing, just get it all out)
Jessica's Brighter Move: find one thing you've been managing alone and ask for it to be shared — not handed off, just shared
Brighter Move of the Week
Find one thing on your list that you've been managing alone and make one specific ask to share it. That's it. Start there.
Mental Load Audit
Got 15 minutes? Write down everything you're currently tracking, managing, or holding in your head. Don't edit it — just get it out. Looking at the full list is often the first time we give ourselves credit for how much we're actually carrying.
Next Week
We're closing out April with something a little different — hot takes. No caveats, no softening. Just what Jessica and Kelly actually think about everything they've covered this month: energy, capacity, invisible labor, all of it. You don't want to miss it.
Free Download 🎁
Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? — a free values clarity guide with 5 honest questions and 5 tips for living more aligned. Free when you sign up for our newsletter. 👉 chasingbrighter.com
Connect With Us 📲 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🌐 chasingbrighter.com
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